Encouraging your child and Praising your Child are 2 different things. Today I would like to talk about the powerful results encouragement can have.
First, encouragement helps children believe in themselves. It gives them a form of internal gratification. That is something others can’t easily take away and will help them to find happiness in the things they do. This is a good foundation for them to grow from. We want our children to realize that their happiness is dependent on themselves, and not from what others can offer.
Praise on the other hand, is a form of external gratification that comes from outside sources. It focuses on them, their behavior or accomplishment, rather than the effort. This means it can be given or taken away by others, at anytime. This can lead our children to seek out approval from others to feel good about themselves. That message is not one we want them to learn.
Let’s look at definitions for both:Praise- an expression of approval, to admire, commend, extol
Encouragement- the act of giving hope or support, to strengthen, giving courage or confidence
As a parent, encouraging your child will really benefit not only them, but also your relationship with them, especially if difficult times arise. For example, it is well known that the teenage years can be an especially trying time between parents and teens. If you have a good relationship and are an encouragement to your child, I believe it will help you maintain a more positive relationship through those difficult years. So let’s talk about a few ways you can encourage your child or teenager.
1. Show Confidence in your child. A very important way to do this non verbally is by giving them responsibility. It shows you trust and believe in their ability to handle that task. In addition, allowing your child to make some of their own decisions is another way.
2. Show your child that you value them for who they are, not what they do. This means pointing out positive things that are not related to an accomplishment. Likewise, showing them their value despite misbehavior.
3. Point out their strengths and acknowledge what they do well. Build upon those things and they will inherently find success and satisfaction from their own achievements.
4. Encourage independence. Offer opportunities for your child to make decisions for themselves and be satisfied with their choice, even if it was not yours.
Praise on the other hand, is a form of external gratification that comes from outside sources. It focuses on them, their behavior or accomplishment, rather than the effort. This means it can be given or taken away by others, at anytime. This can lead our children to seek out approval from others to feel good about themselves. That message is not one we want them to learn.
Let’s look at definitions for both:Praise- an expression of approval, to admire, commend, extol
Encouragement- the act of giving hope or support, to strengthen, giving courage or confidence
As a parent, encouraging your child will really benefit not only them, but also your relationship with them, especially if difficult times arise. For example, it is well known that the teenage years can be an especially trying time between parents and teens. If you have a good relationship and are an encouragement to your child, I believe it will help you maintain a more positive relationship through those difficult years. So let’s talk about a few ways you can encourage your child or teenager.
1. Show Confidence in your child. A very important way to do this non verbally is by giving them responsibility. It shows you trust and believe in their ability to handle that task. In addition, allowing your child to make some of their own decisions is another way.
2. Show your child that you value them for who they are, not what they do. This means pointing out positive things that are not related to an accomplishment. Likewise, showing them their value despite misbehavior.
3. Point out their strengths and acknowledge what they do well. Build upon those things and they will inherently find success and satisfaction from their own achievements.
4. Encourage independence. Offer opportunities for your child to make decisions for themselves and be satisfied with their choice, even if it was not yours.
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